I’m driving myself mad trying to find that connection again. Just more than a fucking hook up. Those butterflies. For fuck sake something. I just want that excitement about a girl. That flirting where it’s actually interesting. I get so scared I’ll never find Rachel again. Like that compete understanding of sarcasm and jokes and I could seriously just be myself, unapologeticly.
My favorite was when I refused to give her a kiss goodnight and I sat at the curb and these guys stopped at the stop sign and she leaned down to get a kiss and I almost violently turned my head away… Playfully as a joke to her… But totally didn’t look like it. The guys in the car saw and laughed and Rachel got so embarassed.
That whole hour was amazing. I can’t wait until she hopefully one day realized that doesn’t happen everyday. I want that everyday. Even for a few minutes ya know?